For the business minded music nerds: According to Mashable, music streaming service Pandora Radio is going public on Wenesday June 15th offering 14.5 million shares between $10-$12 a share; maybe they’ll become profitable in 3 years. That’s right folks- the company lost $1.8 million in 2010.

In regional music news: Rockford’s On the Waterfront Music Festival [Sept. 1 - 4] decided to take a monstrous dump on local music fans that have a modicum of taste by announcing the lineup that kicks off this years festival on Thursday Sept. 1, 2011. Local degenerates, carnies, and hillbilly S&M fetishists will will come out in droves to watch musical shit stains Buck Cherry, Papa Roach, Puddle of Mudd, Crossfade, Red, and Drive A. It looks as though regional indie rock and rap fans will once again be snubbed by On The Waterfront.

And really that’s OK; OTW can continue to cater to hill-rods, because in northern Illinois we now have…

The Middlewest Music and Arts Festival!!! The festival, sponsored in part by Kickstand Productions, is being held September 9th-10th for the second time in Dekalb, IL. Starting this week, Middlewest Festival will be announcing three artists a day that will be performing at this years festival. You can keep up with those daily announcements on their Facebook page or on the web site.

Announced so far this week [UPDATE]:

Cornmeal
MC Chris [our interview with him at last years festival]
Comedian Brian Posehn
The Wonder Years
La Dispute
Gene Ween
The Felix Culpa

Two people died this year at Bonnaroo. That’s not cool.

Rapper Nas has a new single out from his upcoming solo record Life is Good. “Nasty” is produced by Salaam Remi and is a really, really good track. Listen or download it for free below.

South Park‘s Trey Parker and Matt Stone musical The Book of Mormon won a total of nine Tony Awards. To think that the guys the created South Park could win Tony awards with a musical based on Mormon missionaries sent to Uganda is hilarious to me for various reasons. Check out an interview they did recently with on NPR. I’m still waiting for a sequel to Orgazmo.

Into It. Over It. [Evan Thomas Weiss] is releasing Twelve Towns, a collection of songs that were previously released on 7″ inches with other artists on Topshelf Records August 9th. Check out the podcast we did with Into It. Over It. and KOJI last year that includes exclusive in studio performances by each.

Sock Monkey Sound

By Andrew Whorehall

Premise: In 1998, I saw Wilco play On The Waterfront to about 8 people, if that.  In 1999, I saw The Jayhawks’ great songwriter, Gary Louris, proclaim, “Wow, we’ve never played to a bunch of chairs before.”  Waterfront always provides lasting memories.  This year, a $9 Elephant Ear I didn’t buy did just that. Downtown businesses ‘have to’ abide by the rules set forth by the On the Waterfront, Inc. committee.  Meaning, prices on alcohol have to be consistent with festival prices.  Here’s the problem;  I wanted 1 Elephant Ear, it cost 18 tickets which is equal to $9.00.  I left downtown with a stomach fulfilled instead by The Octane, a regular downtown joint that served me a single meal for $9.  If you’re gonna place rules on downtown businesses (which is WRONG), place rules on the asshole elephant ear making vendors that are only down there 3 days a year.  This town is retarded, sure, but I’m not retarded enough to blow $9 on an elephant ear when I can get a decent meal for the same amount at Octane.  The math is alllllll wrong- on all fronts.  On The Waterfront, Rockford, IL, 2010.

2010 On The Waterfront, Rockford, IL: HEADLINERS

The self-proclaimed ‘largest street festival’ also serves as a mass gathering of vendors with slight potential to gang rape specific individuals’ wallets and purses with bad, bad, bad, bad, bad math.  If you rely on respectable math to determine your moods, Waterfront is not the place to discover or maintain ‘happy’ unless you’re into adorable (cheap) hookers, concrete beds and 32 flavors of social diseases.  If you don’t care for numbers that weigh heavily against your personal and financial reality, you’ll love it!

Enough non-fiction, this piece is about the horrible facts discovered in a short amount of time at the Waterfront on a Saturday afternoon into sundown.

Last I checked, Rockford, as a city, it’s people, economically are not doing that well so you’d expect smaller ticket prices and less credible bands for what they do proudly advertise as “Illinois’ Largest Street Festival.”  I want to see the math equation that proves that tagline.  Is it based on territory?  Shoe size?  Judging by the bookings and confusing price packages for admissions, seems like this year’s committee hired a special mathematician to do the numbers.  They make ticket prices and 3-Day passes seem so confusing for no reason. No, I’m not going to be that guy that buys tickets to a street festival in Rockford, in advance- no, too complicated & unnecessary.  They’re not hooking me on that based on experience and a half-assed sales pitch;  have you seen the bands lineup?  I like to walk up to a gate, pay, get stamped, go in;  like in any other city, block party.  I don’t want a ticket unless you’ve booked Led Zeppelin with John Bonham, brought back Sam Cooke from the grave, or fine, I’d settle for Chicago’s own_______ but I’m not giving it away, you have to pay for marketable advice here.   The Waterfront committee seems to be lacking in the marketing research & booking department.

Wilco: 1998 On the Waterfront: above, Jeff Tweedy & Jay Bennett, better days.

TIP: Just call them tickets or stop wasting $$$$ on printing cost for 4 color tickets with a die line and tear.  Charge less, stamp the hand, rubber band the wrist for drinkers- Jesus, it’s not that hard.  For this year’s LARGEST street festival In Illinois, I doubt the Waterfront Committee is doing that well either with math equations or common sense, cents, scents, sense.  Geddy Lee, Pavement, check please.

Facts:

Bought 1 ticket for $15 dollars at the gate, for one day admission, for one person.

Billy Idol- headlined, rad.

Dierks Bentley- headlined, solid gold.

Adam Lambert- headlined, prophetic.

Hinder - headlined, game changers.

Weird Al- headlined, genius.

There ya go, the headliners for Illinois’ LARGEST street festival.
Three words xs5;  No, thanks.

Many other facts that are negative in a large looming manner;  as mentioned above, local downtown businesses having to match drink prices in accordance with Waterfront, Inc.’s committee rules (silly- and intrusive.)

Intrusive:  The cost of an elephant ear and the reality of math.  The cruelest fact of them all was this:

$9.00 for 1 Elephant Ear.  18 tickets, $9, the Oasis stage.

Comment: Who the f*ck do you think you are to charge $9 for an elephant ear?  Please answer below in the comments area of this post.  Tell us what math went into that decision to charge 18 tickets (each .50 cents) for a festival favorite of many people, including this guy.  I chose otherwise, sadly.  So did my cohorts. For the same amount you could drink 2 beers.  I’m a fan of logic and do what I can to surround myself with logical people.  Thanks for the reality check, Waterfront.  You see, again, respect true math;  it reveals all the answers you need for a good or bad time.  We still had a good time mocking the reality of that math, bad math.

SupplyCore has the best sign in all of downtown Rockford, IL

Positives: My friends and I love drinking on other peoples business property downtown;  especially under the glowing gaze of a Bush Jr. Era’s favorite contracted, millitary, provider of procured supplies;  SupplyCore.   My favorite Rockford company- so much drama!!!  And here I am drining cold beer staring at the glowing green sign!   The Provenzano brothers redefine the term, “family business.”  If anything, I feel bad for the parents of what has become our own city’s version of Cain & Abel, dueling brothers.  A successful shame, what money can do and does to destroy a family- an awful f*cking shame.

Here’s to the Highlight:  Guzzardo’s Emerging Artist Showcase on the Oasis Stage had me thinking why they couldn’t have that featured right before a respectable headlining act- not Hinder, not Adam Lambert, not Dierks Bentley, not Billy Idol,  maybe Weird Al (I like Al);   again, I said, “respectable.”  My reasons for such are simple and supportive to the local music community that is rich in talent.  Seeing Xen / Darren Garvey / Crankupmadonna compete and support each other should be brought to the main stage, Waterfront committee.  Show off your local talent the way other cities, block parties, festivals do in regards to having a local act open for a headlining act.  Throw it all in the blender- give up on the path you’ve gone down on the past few years and start over.  Now’s the time for new blood.

There’s an entirely different demographic you’re missing- a large one that’s fed up with the Rockford way.  Start researching other festivals that are working quite well in dark, technological, word of mouth times;  Pitchfork Festival, St. Pat’s Block Party (both Chicago)- start there and then come to us- again, I’m not going to speak on behalf of the others but I’m stating it now, “We’re not helping for free but we’ll help- this is isn’t Natural Helpers Camp.”

I end on that, I am ashamed of my hometown again;  specifically the Waterfront committee, a pathetic offering of sorts that doesn’t live up to your advertised tagline:  “Illinois’ Largest Street Festival.”  To me you’re just another large Illinois math problem that has the wrong people doing the math.  Suggestion:  new blood & now.

aW  |  andywhorehall.com

Sock Monkey Sound

Doug the Sock Monkey Sound Monkey

We celebrate our year anniversary with the guest from our first episode, Arik Jenkins. Topics include Emerging Artists, On the Waterfront, festivals, tanorexia, beer, and a little music talk. Music underneath talking by: Oasis, The Beastie Boys, Crankupmadonna, Ex Norwegian

Sock Monkey Sound Presents: Ex Norwegian and Crankupmadonna
Wednesday September 1st at Kryptonite Bar

sockmonkeysound.com
Hotline:815-315-9552

http://www.facebook.com/rockfordfestaitaliana

Sock Monkey Sound

This Months Featured Artists:

Owls
Miles Neilson
El Oso
Crankupmadonna
Super Super
The Lawrence Arms

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Featured Bands this episode:

The Rikters – All My Life
Sunday Drive Bye – So Cruel
Useless Brother – Spartacus
The Moment – Panther Attack!
Crankupmadonna – Try Not Cry
The Get Up Kids – Close To Home

Other topics of interest:

Guzzardo’s Performance Music

Rockford On The Waterfront Festival

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