I’m sure you’re all familiar with Macy’s. The worldwide Thanksgiving Parade department store that most of you probably never shop at because you’re much more reasonable about clothing than I am. The downtown Macy’s is especially unbearable around this time of year. After the entire backlash for buying out and then renaming the flagship Marshall Fields.

- Just a tangent here for everyone who got all uppity and bitched about that. Marshall Fields went under because no one shopped there. No one shopped there because it sucked and was dirty and not very nice. If you loved it as much as you claim, why didn’t you shop there more often? Because it sucked and was dirty and not very nice. Macy’s is way better -

Macy’s has felt compelled to go to obscene lengths to remind everyone that Christmas is almost happening. Because of all this tackiness, one wouldn’t assume that such a store would be a good place to eat. They would be wrong. Dead wrong. As one makes their way through the labyrinth of garishness up to the 7th floor food court, they’re met with a great surprise. Sitting next to a Frontera Fresco (very good fast Mexican food in it’s own right, although it’s slightly redundant since Rick Bayless’s far superior fast service restaurant Xoco is just across the river on Clark) is Marc Burger. I have no idea why, but world renowned Chef Marcus Samuelsson has launched a fast food burger restaurant in the food court of Macy’s. You may know Samuelsson as the youngest chef ever to receive a 3 star review from the New York Times and a former recipient of the designation, “Best Chef in New York City,” by the James Beard Foundation. He most recently catered the Obama Administration’s first state dinner (You know, the one with those crazy party crashers). Apparently he is also dedicated to serving random people truly amazing hamburgers.

What I Ate: Cheeseburger with white cheddar and thick cut bacon.
Was it Amazing?: Yes!

I should give you some background. Hamburgers are one of my favorite things ever. No hyperbole. They are literally my 4th favorite thing in existence on this planet. I have my moments of McDonald’s gratuity, but I actually have a pretty discerning palate. Given my druthers, I would always prefer a tremendous piece of meat on a quality bun with a tomato, small amount of butter or mayonnaise, and no other condiments. That’s what is so remarkable about these burgers. The meat comes from antibiotic free, grass fed, American cattle and is fresh lean and succulent. The grill jockey has shockingly high standards and cooks the meat to just the right temperature; leaving a flavor filled juicy extravaganza. Slapped onto a potato roll and topped with white cheddar, and smoky delicious thick cut bacon, I am left muttering obscene exclamations as I sit next to a table full of worried old women. No seriously, today was my 2nd visit and I (who have an admittedly sizable vocabulary) was reduced to random whispers of, “God damn,” through bites of burger. The sandwich also comes with very good seasoned fries, very mild pickles, and a notable slaw, but it doesn’t matter. Eating this burger is like the first time you hear Coltrane’s ‘A Love Supreme’, eat foie gras, or see a woman’s breasts. Your life is just not the same. Ever.

Alex Danger Stewart is a contributing writer to Sock Monkey Sound and once dressed as The Hamburgler for Halloween when he was 7 years old. Granted, I have no proof of this. But I’m sure he’ll let this moment of revisionist history slide.

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