Clarence Clemens (1942-2011)

The biggest music news over the weekend was the passing of E Street Band sax player  Clarence Clemens at the age of 69 due to complications arose after having a stroke in his Florida home. Next to Bruce himself, he was quite possibly the most recognizable figure in the New Jersey band having been an original member of the group since 1972. The “Big Man’ with the big heart will sorely be missed the world over. R.I.P.

Jackass star Ryan Dunn was killed in a car accident over the weekend. Kids, drinking and driving is BAD. Don’t do it.

According to Mashable, Facebook might be getting a music service. Rumors of the social spy machine/time waster working with European streaming music service Spotify have bubbled for a while now.

OK GO have a new live album coming out tomorrow called 180/365 which refers to how many live shows they’ve played over a year. The band is premiering the entire record over at Mashable.

Amy Winehouse got effed up and tried to perform a set. Cancels part of European tour [via LA Times]. No one is surprised.

Except maybe this guy:

Catman

Finally, more Middlewest Festival Artists announced: Xerxes, Inspector Owl, Kid You’ll Move Mountains, Loose Lips Sink Ships

Sock Monkey Sound

By C.C. Deville

Knights of the Crystal

So I’m sitting here shivering my ass off, typing on my laptop in the goddamn cold on my porch, cigarette clenched in my lips like a nicotine nipple, just jamming the refresh button in Firefox over and over again. It says it’s gone but I’m praying against all odds that those underpaid codemonkeys at Square Enix will just patch this worthless game and let me get my fix. It’s been over two hours since I’ve spent my Action Points and papa needs a hit. How did I get here? Of course — f*cking Facebook. In better times (when I was regularly employed) I scoffed at the lowlifes and wastrels begging me to till their fertile soil in the mockery that was Farmville. Of the wannabe kingpins shooting up the streets of Mafia Wars, I once said, “People like that just need a crutch to get through life. Not me.” Ha! I was so sure of myself then. Never once did I think that I’d be like the rest of the burned-out OCD-sufferers checking their Games and Applications requests, clicking notifications for a measly experience point like some dope fiend selling his left sock for a 50-cent bus ride to meet the man. Broadcasting my every achievement and level gain in some pathetic attempt to accrue the good karma of the rest of my crystalhead family. I can’t tell whether I’m shivering because of the approaching Midwestern winter or because my body is addicted to the wild thrill of this terrible, terrible game.

For those not already wise to the streets, what I’m talking about must seem amystery, some bizarre trend that keeps popping up in Dateline specials, your Facebook News Feed or, sadly, the obituary section of your local paper. It goes by a few choice names on the black market: Crystals, Knights and Enix-crack all come to mind, but originally its makers called it “Knights of the Crystals.” In late 2010, Japanese video game distributor Square Enix (of Final Fantasy fame) forayed into the emerging social game industry with this unassuming title, unaware that the fruits of their creative efforts were to be crippled livelihoods and destroyed relationships. Early adopters, also unaware of the ramifications of the social game, thought it was all about combining the typical RPG tropes with a dash of the social media craze — dangerous to be sure, but controlled. It didn’t have the razzle-dazzle graphics of World of Warcraft, so it couldn’t suck you in, right?

When it first popped up on my radar, a few friends sending me invitations to play, I recalled the wisdom of Barbara Bush and just said, “ignore all invites from this person.” But then a few friends came over to my place for a casual night of binge drinking and after a few too many, my main man Tyrique quietly slurred, “I need your computer, bro.” I was mildly curious so I handed it over and watched as he commenced the ceremony of logging into his account, checking for new gifts and burning through his Battle Points. Then I saw it: his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he clicked through an endless sea of meaningless quest options, his hands twitching over the trackpad until at last he leveled up in an orgasmic climax of button-mashing. When he finally came to, he handed over the laptop and, with a hesitating, somewhat-embarrassed look in his eyes, said, “Wanna play?” He knew me too well, but didn’t know the depths that I would travel to — he couldn’t have asked me to join him unless he didn’t know… unless he needed the company on our long journey to hell and back.

The most I’d experimented with Facebook apps was an innocent quiz that told me that, of all cities in the US, the one I most belonged in was Seattle. And yeah, like every red-blooded American I’d trolled a few formspring pages, but my relationship with Facebook, while inane, seemed mutually beneficial. The point is, I trusted it. There’s something cathartic about repeatedly clicking “OK” and then suddenly seeing that glorious “Level Up!” symbol appear in center of the screen, something that lets you know that you have a place in the world and that everything is indeed going to be “OK.” And maybe it’s just genetics or how I was raised, but ever since the olden days when Xanga was a thriving metropolitan center of thought and rational discourse, I always felt like I needed to check something. Now I’ve followed the hare down the rabbit hole and I can’t look back, I won’t. At least until I hit Paladin. Skip forward a few hundred battles and infinite quests and here I am: a fucking Crystalhead. I can’t go a whole day without getting a hit, it’s like the way that it stops you at regular intervals from playing it, but demands regular attention — it’s evil and designed to be addictive. The real shame is that there is relatively no gameplay to critique, it’s really just a graphical menu system with a strategy that makes a Choose Your Own Adventure book look like the deepest role playing system since Dragon Quest IV. After you come off the high, it seems pointless and asinine, but while you’re clicking left and right, blitzing through Action Points like a speed freak at a motocross rally, nothing else matters.

Recovering Crystalhead Addicts gathered for comfort sans Facebook or technology. Khakis were mandatory, opaque colored shirts requires, exceptions were made.

I spend my days now in a decrepit apartment with a few other wastoids, all curled up on the floor like stillbirths waiting for the next round of Action Points to be doled out. Most times Tyrique wanders through around 4pm after caddying a round of golf for the elites of Rockford, happy to blaze through a level or two and then slump comatose in the corner. Quiet, reserved Phil is a recently-homeless sushi delivery man who also happens to be a Level 26 Paladin… I’m fashioning a shiv out of splintered chopstick remnants so I can kill him and transfer his collection of magic stones to my account. And poor, sweet Ruth… she held my hand when I completed my first quest and hasn’t been off the stuff since. Sometimes I see the old, caring Ruth when she comes back from the store with a stolen bag of mandarin oranges to ward off scurvy, but a few minutes later she’s throwing a cut-glass ashtray straight at my dome because I wouldn’t give up the Macbook. There have been those who have gotten out of the game. Take Kaleb, he was a level 38 White Mage, the kind of used-up junkie that most of society would have written off as a waste of time and space. Dude was ancient, got into it so early he didn’t have any cautionary tales to look at, to pace himself. I always saw him cropping up in my mini-feed with mad high levels: 23, 28, 34… like damn! that boy is a pro at scoring, how’s he always getting higher’n me? Just today I looked up and he isn’t even in my guild anymore. Turns out he took a mystical journey with some DMT that really cleaned him out, when he woke up from the trip he just logged in and canceled his account, is even thinking about getting off Facebook completely and filing for welfare like some kind of upstanding citizen.

Seems like the only productive thing I’ve done all week is write this little live journal entry, but it feels good to log out for once and really look at how my life has been going for the past few weeks. All in all, I don’t know that I like everything I see. But I’m not ready to give it up yet, I mean I know I’m ready but I don’t know about Ruth. Since Kaleb left us she’s been the only high-level Warrior in our guild, constantly having to fight our battles for us has been hard on her, I know, and it only makes her need Crystals more. If I left now it would, it would just crush her, you know? And I couldn’t do that to a friend. It’ll be better if we just ride it out a little longer and just wean ourselves off of it slowly. And it’s not like its the only game in town, just the other day between power leveling sessions with KOTC I was having a damn good time playing Call of Duty: Black Ops and that’s not even technically an RPG… Shit.

CCD
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C.C. Deville is an online sorcerer and enjoys knitting, windsurfing and stepping outside to urinate when he’s not playing Knights of the Crystals by Square Enix available on Facebook. He’s set the bar low and is looking forward to telling you all about the other things he’s addicted to that you should stay away from.

Sock Monkey Sound