El Doug vs. The Local Elite: Part 6
“Oprah could make a fortune off me or my ideas. Last winter I ate oatmeal for 6 weeks straight, a little hard salami thrown in there, no bread, an occasional banana & coffee. I cut out beer & soda for 2 months. Stupid, I know.” No, it actually sounds…
El Doug vs. The Local Elite: Part 5
Aside from the lack of showering detail, most men, even the wealthiest, powerful, political scumbags that run most cities and companies into the proverbial ground are jealous of El Doug. For someone so poor and a part-time, BBQ sauce stirrer, he does very well with the ladies. Even when they aren’t his, his standards are pretty high. “If they can’t afford me, they can’t have me! That goes for everything in life- bartender! Two shots, Jamison, and a…
El Doug vs. The Local Elite: Part 4
El Doug tells us the story of The Hyphen.
“Your father thought I was gonna carry his name forever but the moment we made a break for Rockford, I said, ‘Stu, now’s the time to add the hyphen. Where we’re goin, they’re not the consonant loving cultural kind.”
- Theresa Arbisi-Grobnik
El Doug vs. The Local Elite: Part 3
Many ask how Doug earned the ‘El.’ Let this be the first & only time it’s stated that it has nothing to do with the character Kevin Nealon plays on the popular tv show, “Weeds.” It’s deeper than that. El Doug was born out of a culturally misdirected racist comment Coach Kelly threw at him in practice when…
El Doug vs. The Local Elite: Part 2
Grand-Pop’s Grobnik used to argue that, “this world went to sh*t when the accordion was replaced by guitars. All the idiots came outta their woodsheds and made the…
