The last year or so (I haven’t really been paying THAT much attention) Charlie Sheen has been a public relations person’s dream come true. I say that with the old “showbiz” mentality that “any press is good press”. Coming off of what has to be one of the biggest public meltdowns, alongside Britney Spears, we were lucky enough to have multiple B, C, and what the hell, D list celebrities brought together for a night to poke and roast our beloved addict, Charlie Sheen. Or, as often referred to throughout the night, Carlos Estevez. Here is my take on the Roast of Charlie Sheen…
Being reigned out like the “rockstar” that he is, while Slash soloed above him, Charlie would endure the next hour and a half of brutal jokes about his addictions, family, hookers, porn stars, health, age, and his public media frenzy. It was really no holds-barred, leaving no detail untouched or unscathed. Donning a lineup of roasters ranging from William Shatner, to Jeffrey Ross, to confusing choices such as Kate Walsh, and…Mike…Ty…wait, Mike Tyson?…Anyway…where was I…Oh yeah, Roastmaster Seth Macfarlane began the night’s festivities by reading a fake obituary for Sheen, and then mixing it up with Amy Winehouse, claiming them both to be talentless.
There were an odd amount of death jokes last night. Not jokes about the deaths or people themselves, but rather jokes toward the guests set up by the deceased. For instance, Jeffrey Ross said of Anthony Jeselnik “People are saying you’re the next Greg Giraldo, let’s hope so”, or Amy Schumer’s joke toward Steve-O of “No joke, I’m sorry for the loss of your friend Ryan Dunn, I know you must have been thinking ‘It could have been me’, and I know we were all thinking, ‘Why wasn’t it?!’”, then showing an unamused Steve-O. Between all of this, cue up the typical jokes of Charlie Sheen banging porn stars and beating his wives, same with Tyson- sprinkle in that he’s a nutcase, Seth Macfarlane is a closet homosexual, William Shatner being old and having way too much cosmetic surgery, Steve-O not being as hilarious because he’s sober, Patrice O’Neal is black and fat, Jon Lovitz is gay, Anthony Jeselnik/Amy Schumer being no names, Jeffrey Ross is ugly and not funny, and Kate Walsh not being relevant. Literally, that was the show, rotated for one hour and a half.
Now, not taking away from anything because there were some very funny and clever moments, although I was waiting for a moment for Tyson to get up and pop someone. I had to settle for Steve-O running into Tyson’s fist, meh. The thing that bothers me the most about the “roast” was that it was more of a celebration of our downfalls and our mishaps. I understand that that’s the point of a roast, but literally, the year and a half of Sheen’s career has about how he is absolutely off of his rocker. And for this, he got a roast. Roasts used to be something to those that actually were accomplishing something, ranging from everyone from Lucille Ball, to Redd Foxx, Ronald Reagan, Hugh Hefner, Ralph Nader, to Joe Namath, Bob Hope, Johnny Carson, Jackie Gleason, Hank Aaron, Sinatra, and so many more. There was a classiness to the roastee, there was something to be admired. Not to say that Sheen’s career and movies have been a let down, but come on, the last thing the guy did was Two and a Half Men…And Scary Movie 4…and Scary Movie 3. Congrats on being the highest paid actor on TV though. I guess…that’s something.
After watching the roast I was lying in bed and thinking about what the purpose of this roast really served. And then I thought about all of the garbage on tv that I watch. Yes, I am one of the reasons the people on Jersey Shore get paid, and why Jerry Springer still has a tv contract, I wholeheartedly see my contradictions and why my opinion on this probably serves no purpose. We live in a world that is totally ran on the fact that someone is going to have a meltdown (hopefully drunken or strung out) at any given point. We were waiting to hear what Chris Brown had to say about beating Rihanna, like anything was going to be a career saver. Remember Mel Gibson being antisemetic and how long we had to hear about it? Lindsay Lohan will be in the paper tomorrow with a new drug addiction, watch. We still haven’t let go of Michael Jackson‘s death or Tiger cheating on his wife. We were glued to the Casey Anthony trial, we were buying up the tabloids when Britney Spears shattered a windshield with an umbrella and shaved her head bald. For some reason, Courtney Love is still asked (and paid) to appear at public events; I wonder why. We were shocked that Jesse James could cheat on Bullock with a Nazi porn star. Really?
Maybe I am reading way too far into this, and maybe I am missing the point that is just that, a roast. But what I am trying to say is, is it something to be roasted when people are obviously hanging on for dear life? Is death and addiction something to be admired now and “roasted”? Human tragedy has been at the forefront of most of our newspapers for quite sometime, but I promise you this, if Charlie didn’t have this very public meltdown, this roast would have never been considered. Charlie didn’t do anything special in telling his boss to “f*ck off”; he is VERY financially secure, and will find work no problem. But in a world where Celebrity Rehab (reread that title again and again and see the irony in it- it’s not Celebrity Bowling) and Teen Mom (all of whom have since become tabloid fixtures) are showcasing problems and showing the fame gained or retrieved there of, it’s pretty safe to say our priorities on who and what we celebrate have become completely insane. Again, I don’t claim to be any better than anyone in my viewing of television, but I may be at the point of not owning one soon, for my own sanity. It’s all one big laugh anyway. With that said, I’m going outside.
