The Danger Zone Taste Test-Dr. Snap Soda
What is this? A quick review of a store brand soda
Why? Because I’m bored and I thought it would taste like Dr. Pepper. Also this
Your name is, Fuck you,? I thought it was Alex. Not really. I’m just being combative.
I was walking through the refrigerated section of my local Whole Foods the other afternoon with my ladyfriend (she’s from two towns over. You probably don’t know her) because WF is the only place I know that sells the right sized coffee filters for the device I use and also because that place is delicious. She was getting curried beets or grilled tofu or something so I was casually browsing various liquids. One can on the soda shelf jumped out at me.
That has, Dr, in the name. It must be a Dr. Pepper knock off.
Quick sidenote: Dr. Pepper is my favorite of all sodas (especially among dark colored sodas). I get a little silly about it.
I picked up the can of Dr. Snap and started reading the label. Several signifiers drew my attention. It had a 365 label which is the Whole Foods organic store brand (and known to usually have delicious products). That was a good sign. So was, Sweetened with 100% Cane Sugar. That excited me even more. There are two reasons for my excitement.
1. I have had very good experiences with organic root beer that is sweetened with cane sugar. Yes I sometimes buy small batch root beer. I am a fucking lunatic.
2. You can’t get cane sugar Dr. Pepper anywhere outside of West Texas. There is one bottling plant in some nowhere town in West Texas that refused to follow the corporate mandated switch over to corn syrup in the 1970s. Grocery stores within about a 100 mile radius of that plant sell cane sugar Dr. Pepper but otherwise it is always made with corn syrup.
My head was flooded with possibilities. What if this was a Dr. Pepper knockoff that is made with cane sugar? They obviously couldn’t get all of the 23 flavors but they might get to 20 or 21 flavors like Mr. Pibb. Cane sugar Mr. Pibb sounded very good and it was only 65 cents. I can afford to potentially waste 65 cents every now and then.
I bought the soda.
When I got home I sat down in the chair, opened the can, and started drinking.
A dream died that afternoon. Not like a major dream death that might cause me to spin into depression, or even a moderate dream death that would ruin my day. It was a small dream and it certainly ruined the 5 o’clock hour of Wednesday.
It did not taste anything like Dr. Pepper. As I continued my way through the can, I pondered the flavor profile in my head. There’s too much cherry. It’s not very bubbly. It’s somewhat bubbly but less than Coca Cola. I don’t think this has caffeine. It does have a bit of a dark, cola flavor. Not much though.
Dr. Snap tastes like what might happen if one poured a glass that was half RC Cola, and half Stewart’s Black Cherry Soda. I enjoy both of those sodas a little bit. It’s not actually all that bad and it tastes much better than most other 65 cent cans of soda. On the other hand, it has, Dr. in the name and that gave me false hopes and now I’m sad. Soda shouldn’t make you sad.
Final Verdict: Disappointment.
Here is a video of my experience
About the Author
Danger Alex Danger Stewart likes to write about music and other things for sockmonkeysound.com. He uses words and sometimes scribbles. Words seem to work best.
I have had Virgil’s – delicious, but very, very pricey, especially for an unemployed person. Maine Root Beer (http://maineroot.com/sodas/root-beer/) is excellent too if you can find any. That might be the best I’ve ever had.
Thank you. I’ll probably do another entry in the near to distant future.
If you ever get the chance, I would highly recommend trying Virgil’s Root Beer which is distributed by Reed’s Inc. It’s fantastic and actually makes A&W (which is often very solid) taste like pond scum. I am only being slightly hyperbolic.
No matter that I am a Mr. Pibb man, I agree with you about the Whole Foods line of soda (none of its soft drinks are organic though, simply all natural). Paying $4.99 for a 12-pack of “Root Beer” and expecting something revelatory and then actually realizing upon drinking it that A&W destroys it in every way is very sad. I am a believer in Whole Foods but, outside of its Black Cherry Soda, its soda line is like a shite sandwich minus the bread. I like the concept for your piece though. Do more of these!